Bass, 4-H, Design and Wavy Hair

I love my Bass guitar. Like hardcore, with all my heart. Its giving me something to focus on and occupy my time. Each time I hold it and play it, it feels a little bit more natural and more comforting. Its restored my drive to learn music, and I am now picking up the piano again. *muah!* I love it! 

I am really ready for it to be 4-H Camp and Fair so I can be done. I really need this to be off my plate so I can move on and focus on the future. I can't take the drama after everything that went down last year. I get panic attacks and anxiety to the point where I should be taking something for them. I can't eat, I dread the phone and e-mail. Its really not even stuff that I am directly involved with anymore, but because my mum is that means I am. Going to the ranch for swine meetings, or to work with the horses makes me want to throw-up. I can't wait to leave, and I feel bad about that because I am not really present for the kids. 

I sold my first original design today. Its the first garment that I have completed from design to final product, and I did it in 4 days. I am insanely proud of myself! I am working to get my sewing room set up so its easier to work on projects. I am looking forward to being able to have my fleet of 3 very old sewing machines set up all the time. I will also be sharing my space with my treadmill, bike and stair stepper but thats okay because I love those too. Besides losing weight and toning up goes hand in hand with me having to make myself new clothes right?Ugh only 5 weeks till the wedding. Time to get hard core about that. 

My dad made an interesting comment about me yesterday. He said he couldn't remember what my natural hair looks like. He wasn't being negative, just kind of reflective. He asked me why I never wore it natural. And I said I do sometimes. But it really made me think and I realized that I only wear my hair wavy and natural on the days that I am feeling really positive and self confident about myself. I think its because when I let my hair do whatever the hell it wants its not perfect. At least with straight hair or fake curls I have some control over it. I quite like my hair big and wavy and all over the place and am going to wear it like that more. 

Now for the Currents

Currently:

Watching:

Garden State

Songs of the Week are:

Showerhead-Eve 6

If You Seek Amy- Britney Spears

Do Somthin'-Britney Spears

Hey Montana-Eve 6

Lightning Crashes- Live

The Distance-Cake

Devotion and Desire-Bayside

Beneath the Encasing of Ashes (Entire Album)-As I Lay Dying

I Like It Rough-Lady Gaga

Reading:

Careers in Film Production 

Crafting:

A clean room and then I plan to start knitting again!